Monday, March 21, 2011

Event Review - Fixing the Fence

I was going to write a review of To Kill A Mockingbird tonight. I took my kids to see a remastered version of the 1967 classic last week. Then the next morning my dogs got out, ran a mile in the middle of the city, and killed some lady's cat on her front lawn. Now they're in quarantine and we're waiting to find out if they're going to be euthanized (which is a pretty way to say that some city employee with an eighth-grade education is going to stick a needle in them and pump them full of poison). So the movie review got canceled, because my mood is way too dark to discuss classic film.

The dogs got out because one of them is a little jailbreaking pain in the ass. She has knocked out so many boards that it got past the point that I could patch the holes. I needed to flat-out replace them, and just hadn't got around to it. My wife let them out the back door before the sun was up and then went back inside, and now they're in the hoosegow waiting to find out if they're going to hang.

This weekend I fixed the fence. Yeah, that does sound a little like closing the barn door after the horses are gone, but we're pretty sure the investigator for the city is going to stop by the house, and we want the house to look like we don't want our dogs to run away. If you've never sunk fence posts, allow me to recommend using something heavy, like a ditch witch or something. Digging a three-foot-deep hole with a shovel hurt my back so bad I was almost in traction. But the cement set up just fine, and that post isn't going anywhere for a long time. I am glad I only had to sink one post, though. After having to buy all that wood, I don't have enough money left over to go get a massage.

Another task that sucks is tearing out old wooden fence. There were places on the fence where I'm pretty sure a spark would have lit the whole thing, and it would have gone up in one loud 'foosh!' like in a cartoon, leaving nails hanging in the air for a couple seconds before they tumbled to the ground. We discovered lots of varieties of wood-dwelling insects in our repairs. I got to bond with my son when he wouldn't handle a board because he kept finding ants on it. Can't blame him - fire ant bites are one of the many reasons it sucks to live in North Texas. Still, that meant I had to do it. You would think a boy old enough to have hair on his face would want to prove his stones, but I guess we'll keep waiting on that.

Aside from lots of splinters and a gigantic bruise on my leg from a flying two-by-four, fixing the fence was uneventful. It was the gloomiest repair I ever did, though, because half the time I'm cursing the idiot dog who caused this much grief, and the other half the time I'm hoping against hope to get her back. My house is in a state of pre-mourning, waiting a week to find out if we're going to be celebrating their return or cremating them and putting their urns with the other dogs we've lost in the last sixteen years.

I know that, as reviews go, this was entirely worthless. Seriously, who needs a review of fixing a fence? It's a crappy job, and it hurts, and it's especially bad if you're only doing it as a semi-futile gesture to try to get the investigator guy to see how much you want your dogs back. But it's also kind of my weak-ass excuse to explain why you're not reading something worthwhile here. And I suppose at some level, it's just me bitching, and maybe me thinking there's any reason for anyone to care. Which there isn't, unless you really like my dogs.

15 comments:

DK said...

Since when did they kill dogs for killing cats? I knew they'd do that if your dog hurt a human, but really, a cat?

Yeesh man, that sucks. Hope you get your dogs back alive and well.

Anonymous said...

Well, I for one, really did like your dogs and I'd miss seeing them. I hope everything comes out okay...here's my prayers for you.

MrManly said...

Wishing you all the best in this matter.

Anonymous said...

Sorry to hear about the dogs... its a cryin shame if they get put down!

Sue G. said...

Geez, I do hope you get them both back. My two dogs got out for similar reasons (one of them incessantly looks for weakness in the fence and instigates the great escape). They ended up freaking out my neighbor's kid (he was scared of them and started wailing). Nothing terrible happened, but we felt like the neighborhood pariahs for a while and I kept waiting for a knock on my door. My husband had a similar weekend of attempting to dog proof the fence which has held up so far (knock on wood!). I hope it all turns out well for you.

Anonymous said...

Hope all goes well and your dogs escape the noose.

Jolo said...

Why would they put dogs down for killing a cat? That is ridiculous!

Here's hoping you get your dogs back, I have two and it would kill me if they were put down because a cat was dead.

Matt Drake said...

Thanks, everyone. Things are looking a little up. We've done what any smart, middle-class family does when facing a crisis - we hired a lawyer. He's pretty confident he can get them back.

MrManly said...

Lawyer....who's pressing for prosecution? The old lady?

Thomas said...

If your dogs would have attacked a kid I would be the first voting for the kill (not of the kid but of the dogs of course). But cats? They are the born enemies of dogs and sometimes they lose - that is part of dogs'n'cats nature.

Jolo said...

A lawyer?

If it allows you to keep your dogs that is great, maybe there are uses for them.

Our dog, nicknamed "The Hound of Doom", keeps our yard cat free...

Matt Drake said...

Update: We got our dogs back today. The investigator didn't think that dogs chasing cats was all that abnormal. We did have to pay one hell of a fine, though.

Rychean said...

Matt, glad you got your dogs back. Costly perhaps but it is a much better end to the story than the alternative.

Anonymous said...

Nice to see you guys have so sympathy for the cat and the lady. Not even an "I'm sorry," but just complaining about having to fix your fence. You act like it is no big deal to kill other people's beloved animals. Is it really so hard to understand that woman may have loved her cat even more than you love your dogs? Too bad it would have taken them killing your dogs for you to understand that lady's pain. But who am I kidding - even then you wouldn't understand, or even take responsibility for what your animals have done. All of you "it's just a cat" people are asholes.

Matt Drake said...

We apologized to the lady. We felt bad for her. We've lost four cats to stray dogs. We understand her pain. But we didn't push to have those dogs killed, because - stay with me here - dogs chase cats. If your cat gets out and a dog kills it, that's nature working. Why not get pissed at the cat when it kills a mouse? Haven't you ever seen cartoons?

Also, dear goofball cat-lover, you can kiss my ass. Maybe one day my dogs will get out and kill your cat. Would you mind strapping a steak to your cat and letting it out the front door overnight? That would be a big help.

I'm sorry, I mean 'cats', plural. Nobody as socially awkward as yourself has just one cat. I'm guessing a house that smells like cat piss and dirty litterboxes, maybe choking you out on the odor of stale cigarette smoke and the sweat stains on your 30-year-old recliner. Enjoy your reruns of Matlock, you judgmental, pathetic throwback, until nature runs its course and reclaims your fat ass to restock the dwindling supply of fossil fuels.